Questioning indentity :P

Who am I?

The question might sound inane, but really… Who am I?

I know I am who I am. But who am I?

It’s been 17 years 1 month and 7 days and a number of hours since I was born into this mortal world and I know for sure that I’m not that little girl who plays with power rangers figures anymore. I know for sure that I have grown up. I am different… but, still… What have I became today and later troubles me so.

Someone who had became a friend of mine this past couple of weeks said that I am a self-composed person, but I don’t think I am. I might look calm and fine, but literally.. I am not. I have my fears around me. Gripping me like a middle age corset, making me hard to breath.

Like what Forest Gump said, “Life is like a box of chocolate, you never know what you’re gonna get.”

I have wishes and dreams that although I have work so hard might not come true. I have ambitions that might not be fulfilled. Then what will I became? What will be? A poor girl who never had a chance to achieve her dreams?

Now, wouldn’t that sounds sad? Even for a short story, it sounds… so short…

I have a number of friends who I regard like blood related sisters. And once I regard like that, it will last forever… For me, but for them, I don’t know how long will it remain (can you see how paranoid I am?)

I am observer… I like to watch people (not in a psycho maniac way btw), and slowly I can see that nobody understand other people’s feeling.

Well, if people can understand others, there won’t be “loneliness” right?

And in a doomed moment like this I feel so blessed that I still have Alan Rickman and his fandom… Or I might die of paranoia! LOL!

Hmph… I must sound like a big-time whiner! But well, that’s one of many uses of blog. To whine ;)

Comments

[Joan]

It's a never-ending question. The "Who Am I". I also can't really answer it until now. In a society, we can't be what we really want, do whatever we want. So, we could never be ourselves. But well, that's somethingn we must live on.

Fears, I also still have. I think everyone do.

But...Que Sera, Sera. What will be, will be. As long as you work on it hard enough, then you'd get what is best for you.

Good luck!

[Putrisia]

Ehm, your blogs are all very weird, differ from others i've read. But i like them. This 'questioning identity' is very universal, uhm, i mean those questions can be happened to everybody, whoever he/she is (besides the alan rickman, certainly). And the 'who am i' is a relative question